Ada and Gunnar

My cousin is getting married and my sister is writing a poem for the ceremony. To prepare my sister asked me to ask the happy couple what they love about each other. They both seemed to have this feeling of luckiness for having this really special person in their lives - an elevated appreciation for the other - maybe they've found the key to marital bliss.

Best Wishes!

A clip -

I wanna be made - not Mob made - MTV made. I love the show and really wish I was high school age so that I could see about getting some help for the things that have held be back all these years.

Stick-to-it-iveness
Perfectionism
Analysis Paralysis

Focus

I suffer from all of these (or the lack thereof) and I'm quite sure that these are the things that limit my life. (We can probably add a little dose of lazy too.) After musing on Made for a little while, it seems that while the goals change much of the game plan remains the same:

Know what you want and think big. (Bigger is better for TV but I also think it's way more motivating.)

Study what it takes.

Find a mentor.

Be open to change; step out of your comfort zone.

Focus and work hard.

Give yourself a deadline.

So without the benefit of an MTV budget and round the clock film crew I'm like to change much of what my life looks like today. Starting tonight.

More to come.

Tristen's First Birthday

Click below to view the video...

I love all things Harry Potter...really.

Last week I walked into a Barnes & Noble and picked up a copy of Harry Potter - Year 7. Like everyone else, I'd heard the spoilers in the media and recalled the hints given by J.K. Rowling and characters from the previous books. Guiltily, I picked it up and looking around the book store skipped to the end of the book to see if I could get a sense of how things turned out. An unforgivable sin to some book lovers but for me a matter of emotional preservation. A bit extreme but nonetheless true.

Over the years, Harry, Hermione, Ron, Neville and the rest have become like my own children. I've watched them grow up. I've felt the pain when they were hurt and the exultation when they've met success (or had their first kiss). J.K. Rowling has done an amazing job with the books and with making sure that the movies - actors, directors etc. did these deep, rich characters justice. Of course, it doesn't hurt that these characters remind me of people that I adore in real life. When Harry is alone, parentless and living under a staircase I imagine my loved ones bearing the same difficulty and my heart breaks.

Not since Aslan was sacrificed on the stone table have I cried while reading a novel (I was probably about 10 or so at the time). I know that the time is nearing again. I am bracing myself to feel the pain. There will be a void without updates about the lives of Harry and the rest; I feel honest sadness for that. Hopefully soon some great talent will introduce me to new characters (hopefully, it won't be another twenty some odd years) and when they do I'll be ready to add new literary loved ones to my life because although the pain of loss is significant, the experience of knowing them makes it well worth it.

Things Change

It's funny how the people that you love give you your highs and your lows. I've completely blown today - laying around being bitter. Truth is - laying around being bitter - is not a luxury I can afford. I have a life to live.

I've got weight to lose, classes to take and places to go. I've got a home to hook up and loved ones to look after. I don't have any time for bullshit. For those of you that know me, I'm not all that great at interpersonal relationships but one thing I won't let anyone take from me is that I'm loyal and I pride myself on doing the right thing.

So, if you want to go ahead and be an asshole - well go right ahead. I'll be busy living my life.

Jerk.

So True Today

Google's Spending Spree

Google has added GrandCentral.com to its list of services. Listen to the announcement:



Read about it here.

South Beach Diet

I decided to utilize the South Beach Diet method for my weight loss efforts.

The only problem is that you end up eating a ton of salad.

Today, I'm just not in the mood. I ordered a Cobb salad from D' angelo's foe lunch today. After removing everything that was unappealing to me I was left with lettuce, swiss cheese and honey mustard dressing.

Uggh.

Breakfast

So R is in town and we all went to breakast. It's a local spot with 'Soup Nazi' like rules. The food however is great.

This wasn't my breakfast by the way (I ordered a veggie omelet) but I thought It looked delicious.

Marital Rape

Last night, Larry King Live aired an interview with Robin Givens, actress and former wife of Mike Tyson.

Robin Givens recently wrote a book called "Grace Will Lead Me Home." During the interview, Larry King asked her about her allegations (in her book) that her former husband sexually assaulted her during their marriage.

This sparked a great debate on the topic of marital rape in my living room. While the conversation started with the plausibility of Robin's story it quickly branched out to the idea of marital rape, in general.

One of the comments that I recall specifically is 'what if after having sex the male spouse wants more - how come the woman has the right to turn the switch on and off?'

Occassionally, when something is extremely clear in your own mind, it's almost incredible when you discover that others are fuzzier on the subject. The previous quote really threw me off. To me it was a defined statement that a wife cannot decide when (and for how long) she is interested in having sex. To the speaker of this comment, she must be available until her partner is satiated.

I once read a bumper sticker that said "Feminism is the radical idea that women are people." This bumper sticker popped into my head continuously as I engaged in this conversation. To be honest, it was really hurtful to hear the opinion that a woman does not have the right to choose whether (or not) she wants to be intimate with her husband esp if her husband is raring to go. The idea is wildly offensive to me.

I've discovered that as a society we've only recently begun to treat Marital/Partner Rape as a crime. Interestingly, while the Feds have made Marital Rape a crime it's been left to the states to legislate it. Some interesting anomalies have cropped up as a result - in California, for example, the law defining sexual assault in spousal and non-spousal situations are mostly on the same plane. However, offenders in non-spousal rapes cannot be given probation or suspended sentences; there is no such provision in spousal rapes.

You can read about more interesting differences in the handling of Marital Rape at The National Center for Victims of Crime. You can also google Marital Rape and find some statements made by public officials while the idea of Marital Rape was debated.

Human relationships are complicated and so there will always be concern about false accusations but I don't think that false accusations would be more likely inside marriage than out (and the burden of proof is likely to be much higher). If someone is brave enough to step forward the crime should be treated the same. I, for one, do not like the idea that I could have less rights under the law just because I'm married to someone esp since the person I married may not be the same ten years later.

MFA

Edward Hopper's Chop Suey

It's a mission to get to MFA. Two trains - but cool to spend 1 on 1 time with T. We visited the Edward Hopper exhibition and had lunch.

Joked around a bunch and talked about the peices that made an impression on us. When we went to pick up his bag the attendant was in a wheelchair. We started to adjust ourselves so that she could get through the coat check door. Imagine our surprise, when she stood up. T and I looked at each other and stifled laughs. It was like something you'd see on TV.

A good time.

Dental Insurance

the dentist's office

I took W to the oral surgeon. He said it would be quick and asked me to wait outside. After about 10 minutes he came out and asked me if I have the insurance card.

I tell him I don't have it. He says I must because it's not in his wallet. I tell him that neither I nor the kids have had a dental exam this year. His response - "Well, then how did it get out of my wallet?"

hmmm - a mystery, random insurance marauder? Or another case of him blaming me for everything?

I suggested that he ask his primary dentist for a copy (there in the same building) and he gets even more agitated - worried that he's going to look stupid because he doesn't know his insurance.

I tune out and after a few minutes he heads back in to his appointment.

success.

Tidbits

Day 1 of the Happiness Manifesto didn't go so well. I didn't conciously do any of the suggestions. W and I had an argument - totally draining. I'm going back to my original plan of removing myself because engaging is just a waste of time.

B said something so funny to me yesterday - he suggested that someone use a tampon so that they could go swimming. He said it with the straightest face. I nearly fell over because I had no idea he knew the word tampon. Kids!

I've got some exciting things in the hopper - school, learning TV production, writing and working on my career change. For the first time in a long time I feel excited about the future.

Be Happy!

So I'm definitely behind the curve on this but during my internet explorings I came across something called the Happiness Manifesto. In 2005, a group of participants from Slough, Berkshire, England were asked to practice several behaviors which together made up the manifesto.

The behaviours are as follows:

1. Get physical. Engage in half an hour of exercise three times a week.


2. Count your blessings. At the end of each day, reflect on at least five things you are grateful for.


3. Talk time. Have an hour-long - uninterrupted - conversation with your partner or closest friend each week.


4. Plant something. Even if it's a window box or pot. And, you must keep it alive!


5. Cut your TV viewing by half.


6. Smile at and/or say hello to someone you don't know. At least once each day.


7. Phone a friend. Make contact with a friend or relation you have not talked to for a while and arrange to meet up.


8. Have a good laugh at least once a day.


9. Every day make sure you give yourself a treat. Take time to really enjoy this.


10. Daily kindness. Do an extra good turn for someone each day.

I haven't been able to find any active links that tell the results of this social experiment but I'm committing to these actions for 30 days. The suggestions seem like good ones so I can only have good results.

There is a group of folks on 43 things working on this

http://www.43things.com/things/view/1144168

I am starting today.

Back To School

Someone sent this out in a MySpace bulletin and while I don't condone women bashing each other over a man - I do think that sometimes a 'chick' will need to be schooled.



Thea Monyee on MySpace

Mistakes

I agree with Natasha Bedingfield. I'm pretty sure we've all been conditioned to not make mistakes. In fact, that our society does not condone mistakes. The big problem is that sometimes you don't realize that you are making them.

In life, it's a given that you're often going to need to make decisions without all the information. What do you do when you realize you were missing some doozeys and now your life is a mess? Rebuild?

Right, rebuild. Sometimes you can catch a mistake and correct where you are. Other times, the scarier times, the foundation is so chinked and damaged, you've got to gut your whole life and start all over. Scarier because you see the collapse coming but you try so hard to correct your course and it feels like a futile, worthless attempt. Shoveling shit against the wind, slippery slope, take your pick.

Once you are on that road, things only get better after you hit rockbottom. Unless of course, you're from that school of thought that thinks things can always get worse. For you lot, allowed no hope, you're in for a rough, scraping ride.

For the rest of us, hopefully we can focus on the possiblity that with a do-over, we can end up with something even better.

The key is trusting yourself to get you there.

Colbert's TB Scare

Ate Some Crow since August 2006

It's been almost a year since I posted last. I've tried out several other sites for the blogging ingenue but I just like Blogger.

On the career track, I've since left the company I was working for last August. I'm in the process of regrouping and sorting out what I want to do next. I've also gained some insight regarding my old manager. He actually departed prior to me and I got a sense of all the politics and power struggles he was dealing with. I've apologized to him profusely about the way I thought about him back then. Funny how you think you know everything - and quite often you don't.

Definition of Eating Crow: http://www.randomhouse.com/wotd/?date=19971209

Lisi Lord

LORD--Martha Elizabeth (Lisi) on December 4, 2004 after a long illness. Devoted mother of Emily & Christina Barrett, beloved daughter of Herbert and Martha Lord of Greenwich, Connecticut. Dear sister of John and Kenneth Lord and the late Herbert, Jr. Cherished by her friends, particularily Barbara Wood. Lisi was named Public Citizen of the Year in 2004 by the National Association of Social Workers (NASW), New York. A service of celebration of her life will be conducted at the Mamaroneck Beach and Yacht Club on Sunday, December 12, 2004, at 1:00 PM. In lieu of flowers donations in Lisi's name may be made to any of the following organizations: My Sister's Place, Amnesty International, ARCS, and The Loft.
I can't believe I didn't know this - where the fuck have I been?!!!
I wish I would have talked to her about the way I felt 8+ years ago. I wish I weren't so stubborn and proud.
I wish that when I die I will have made a positive impact like she did when she was alive.

PlayStation 2 and My Career

OK, so they are not really related.

Wanted: Surgeon Needed To Remove PlayStation 2 Joysticks from the Hands of My Two Children

2 hour Eviction

I threw the kids out - both of them. It's August and it's gorgeous and they'd love nothing more than to sit around here all day long. So I gave them a debit card and instructions to stay out of the arcade and the mall.

I threatened them with permananent removal of all electronics, if they returned home prior to two hours hence.

I felt mean but called my sister for a reality check. It's a sad state when I feel like a bad parent for wanting my kids to get out and have fun!

Hopefully, they are off at the beach swimming at the lake. (I'll call in a little while.)

Professionally

Work this week, has been rough. I haven't been especially productive since I can't seem to concentrate. I've been using this very cool tool to strategize a new life for me (ahem, yeah sure) called Backpackit (http://www.backpackit.com) and I've become obsessed. I'll have to spend some time on Sunday getting back on track.

I'm not fulfilled professionally and I'm from that annoying generation that expects to be. It's not my job necessarily. I work with good people but I think I'm stuck in limbo. My new boss is qualified to do tons of stuff but I don't think he's qualified to fill the role he was hired for. As a result, I find myself pinch-hitting quite often. The difficulty comes in because I don't really have the authority to do the things I want to do. And, the more I do his job the less interest I have in my "official" one.

I have to figure this out before I get myself fired.